Relationship Stress

People in unhappy marriages are under significant stress and it shows in many areas of their lives. They tend to get sick more often and suffer from the conventional stress-related symptoms such as high blood pressure, increased heart rate and poor digestion, in addition to emotional reactivity and social distancing. So if you’re in a relationship that is not working, doing something about it usually involves the ‘Big Three’ stress management strategies: 1. change the circumstances; 2. change your perception of the circumstances; 3. change your personal behavior. If none of these works, it’s time to plan your exit.

The following relationship stress test used by Dr. Oz has questions that are related to your emotional and physical health.

  1. When you’re upset with your partner, do you eat more?
  2. Is your blood pressure worse than when you first got married?
  3. Do you keep your innermost secrets from your partner?
  4. Do you prefer to be with other people than alone with your partner?
  5. Do you and your partner fight about money more than 3 times a week?
  6. Do you constantly get colds, and get cuts and scrapes that take a long time to heal?
  7. When you feel there is a problem in your marriage (stress), do you usually keep it to yourself?
  8. Are you embarrassed for your children to see how you treat each other?
  9. Do you resent how much you have to do in your relationship?
  10. Do you feel lonely in your relationship?
  11. Do you lie awake at night worrying about your marriage?
  12. Are you relieved when your partner leaves home?
  13. Since you’ve been married, have you gained a significant amount of belly fat?
  14. Do you wish you could communicate more openly with your partner?
  15. Do you feel like you don’t get enough praise or credit from your partner?
  16. Do you have more cavities than usual?
  17. Do you keep your innermost secrets from your partner?
  18. Are you getting more headaches and stomachaches than usual?
  19. Do you feel dissatisfied with your sex life?
  20. Do you fantasize about divorce or separation?

Add up the number of times you answered “Yes.” If you have more than five “yes’s”, then you have a high stress marriage. Anything above eight indicates that intervention is recommended.

Here’s a quick poll regarding the scores on the above questionnaire.

According to the questionnaire above, are you in a high stress relationship?

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